The Stone Forest

Yesterday I came to understand the life of a sheep. All day long we were packed into various vehicles, herded about through strange buildings, fed without choice, driven through the countryside, and led through treacherous stone valleys. All the while I, at least, had no idea what was going on or being said. I just followed along with the rest of the group as we made our way to Kunming's famous Stone Forest.

The inside of a large 'bread car'




Getting breakfast before getting on our tour bus




Morning commute



We got on a tour bus with about 30 other Chinese people and drove off into the morning traffic rush. Our tour guide spent the next couple hours talking incessantly (in Mandarin, of course) into the bus' PA system. Something about ways to avoid insulting the native minority groups we would come across. The only other thing I gleaned from her speech was to not fall asleep as we drove up the mountain, as sleeping during the altitude change can make your head implode or something. Supposedly, her talking was supposed to keep us all awake, but it did the opposite for me as I couldn't understand what she was saying. So I just clapped when everyone else clapped and laughed when everyone else laughed.

We made two stops before lunch - one at a giant jade emporium and another at an even bigger silver store. Thank God for Street Fighter on my iPhone during those times. Finally, we stopped at a 'Chinese Restaurant' for lunch where I was seated at a table full of strangers. I joined in the rapid inhalation of the food that was already there, feeling more and more like dumb livestock with each bite.

Perhaps the most unnecessary sign in all of China



After lunch, we finally arrived at the Stone Forest: a beautiful rocky landscape shaped by the dissolving of bedrock over time. We were divided into groups and directed onto carts that hurtled us through the giant tourist trap, pausing for a few minutes at various viewpoints to get out and take some photos.

Racing through the Stone Forest







The Stone Forest, as much of a tourist destination as it is, is very beautiful and breathtaking. There were also groups of the local native minority about, selling gifts, playing music, and dancing. They seemed to only know one song and one dance, however. I don't blame them though, as their instruments seemed to be limited to a whistle and a drum with three strings.

Play that song again. And again. And one more time. And again.




Captain Morgan visits the Stone Forest




No trumpeting at the Stone Forest?







After a couple hours of being paraded through the Stone Forest by a flag-wielding tour guide, we were herded back onto the bus and driven back into the city. Once there, we disembarked and were coerced into a large room with comfy chairs. Employees began filling buckets at our feet with hot water and a suspicious looking powder. Looking around, I saw everyone removing their footwear and soaking their feet in the water, so I followed along. Next, an old man in a white coat entered the room and began a lengthy lecture (I can only surmise that he was warning us of the evils of athletes foot). Finally, a horde of uniformed attendants descended upon our group with towels and began massaging our feet while simultaneously trying to sell us various medicines. Very sneaky of them.

There's a catch somewhere



Finally, after about an hour of trying to flag down a taxi, we made our way back to the hostel and had some delicious noodles and tofu. And saw one of the most dangerous/odd/awesome things yet:



What a confusing day. I'm going to go play some more ping pong.